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hand reaching out from dark water on a stormy day

Overwhelmed? Check Your Expectations

Posted on April 10, 2019March 8, 2020 by Amanda
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hand reaching out from dark water on a stormy day
Image by Ian Espinosa on Unsplash

I’ve been feeling kinda overwhelmed lately, y’all.

There’s stuff I need to do:

  • Menu planning
  • Grocery shopping
  • Laundry
  • Dishes
  • Yard work
  • Dust, sweep, and vacuum
  • Get back into the habit of exercising

There’s stuff I want to do:

  • Finish arranging books on new bookshelves
  • Start a container garden
  • De-clutter closets and drawers
  • Get caught up on things I’ve been reading
  • Write enough to have at least a month’s worth of ready-to-go blog content
  • Figure out how to tackle and fund larger home improvement projects, like fixing the weird air pockets in the kitchen floor or re-tiling those two walls in the bathroom

Honestly, I’m feeling stressed and worn out just writing it all down.

But the reality is that none of these tasks are super-pressing.

Yes, it is stuff that needs to get done. But if I get behind on the laundry or leave dishes in the sink for longer than I’d like to, nothing bad is going to happen. No one is gonna die or anything.

And yes, it would be nice if I could whip the yard into shape in one afternoon, but I don’t think that would be possible even if I wasn’t dealing with chronic pain.

Very few of the tasks on either of these lists are of the “one and done” variety. It’s pretty much all stuff that must be done regularly.

Maintenance, really.

So why am I getting so stressed about it?

I think it has to do with the tyranny of expectations.

The idea that if I don’t stay on top of all these things, I’m somehow lacking.

The idea that if my house and yard don’t look so immaculate that they could be featured on the cover of House Beautiful, I’m doing something wrong and should feel embarrassed.

I guess I’m stressed because somehow, I’ve bought into the idea that I’m a bad person or even a bad wife just because I can’t keep up with this expectation that everything should be nice, clean, and tidy.

 All. Of. The. Time.

Somehow, I’ve bought into the idea that I should always be on top of things.

But you know what?

That expectation is insane. It’s bullshit.

And it isn’t worth my time, energy, or health to continue buying into it, either.

And I bet the same is true for you.

What are some of the unrealistic expectations you’ve been struggling with lately? How were you able to break their hold over you?

I’ve been feeling kinda overwhelmed lately, y’all. I think it has to do with the tyranny of expectations. #mentalhealth #coping #ouchsquad
Original image by Sponchia on Pixabay

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Welcome to Ouchsquad!

a picture of a middle-age woman, aka me (Amanda)
Hi! I'm Amanda. Recovering perfectionist. Overcoming depression, anxiety, chronic pain. Pragmatic dreamer. Work in progress. Worshipper of cats.

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